True Christian Warriors, why doesn't anyone like me or wants to date me?

I am an Evangelical Dominionist Christian woman awaiting Rapture, I am saving my virginity for Jesus and just want a nice man to buy me dinner and sparkly jewelry. I am a true Christian Princess and want what is best for my soul. I know most of you are not going to get into heaven, so I don't want to get deeply involved in a relationship that goes nowhere. I dislike dogs and other soulless creatures because they are lower life forms and the Bible tells me so. I hate shrimp, lobster and crab but overcompensate by automatically ordering the most expensive item on the menu (when on a date) no matter if I like the dish or not, because I deserve the best. I am a good person and have a great sense of humor. I have a very strong sense of right and wrong and don't need to be told about the virtues of diversity. I had a few friends at church but they turned out to be materialistic, self-righteous sinners. How can I improve my chances of getting a dinner date?